In-Between Worlds

I haven't written in a while. I've been consumed with work (I teach communication at TSU and Vol. State), band stuff (we recorded a full-length album this fall and did a little tour), and trying to get my life coach business off the ground and develop other parts of the business (public speaking, teaching workshops and writing a book). I also developed baby fever. Ha, I like how that sounds like some kind of disease. Well, until a year ago, that's the way I looked at having children - something undesirable that eats all your free time and money and prevents you from doing what you want. A year ago, I realized those fears were just that, fears and that experiencing motherhood and having a child with the man I love was something I wanted. For a couple months recently, I became obsessed for some reason and I spent all of my free time looking at baby clothes, things to build a nursery, what to expect books, non-toxic cleaners and lotions, pre-natal vitamins, etc... But for some reason, it just didn't feel right. Something wasn't jiving. It was like my ego and spirit were fighting each other and something was telling me it wasn't quite the right time. Thankfully, I went to a wonderful women's spiritual retreat that taught us the medicine wheel (a native american spiritual tool). At this retreat I got clarity from my guides as well as from some wise, older spiritual women, that it indeed was not the right time because my band is about to release our first full-length album and actually have a very good chance that we will get help from someone in the music business/industry (like a record label, &/or manager, &/or booking agent). My and Dave's dream of touring a lot and making decent money (at least part-time money) so we can afford to take off for a month and tour is about to come to fruition after all these years of busting our butts and sacrificing to try to make this band work. This is not the time to start a family. Not to say that I don't intend on having a child and continuing to tour with my band, but we'll have to be a little bit further along so that we've got steady, lucrative tours and are able to afford buying an RV and hiring a nanny to come on the road with us. I wouldn't want to tour in a minivan with a baby (nor would our bandmates I'm sure! ;)

So, anyway, this is what has been going on in my world. 

I (with Dave's encouragement) decided to only teach 3 classes next semester so I can have more time to devote to building my business, and also, hopefully start touring with the band. I also decided that none of those classes would be public speaking. I can't tell you how happy that makes me to not have to teach public speaking anymore! I'll be teaching fundamentals of communication. The reason I don't like teaching public speaking is because since it's a required gen. ed. class, no one wants to be there and everyone is petrified and/or hates having to speak in front of people so they have bad attitudes and at TSU, it seems only freshmen take it, so I've got immature, hung-over, bad study skilled people to deal with too. Most of them are still teenagers (18/19). It's a shame that towards the end of the semester, I've got them all trained and they've finally chilled out and have better attitudes. I like them now and the semester is almost over. Many of them recently told me that they told their friends to take me for public speaking next semester but were upset when they saw that I'm not listed as a teacher for that in the spring. That made me feel good. But not good enough to teach it again!

In-Between Worlds

My struggle lately has been that I feel in-between worlds and don't feel I belong in any one. I feel like I have many feet in many different worlds but am not fully immersed in any of them. It's hard being in limbo, waiting for something(s) you've been working on to come to fruition. I want a lot of things but don't have any of them at the moment. I've been working hard on my band and building my life coaching business but none of them have gotten to the successful part yet. 

The other thing I've been feeling an empty-ness for is a best friend. I'm the type of person who needs at least one best girl friend who knows all of me and who I'm comfortable being completely myself with and who I have a lot in common with, who is also interested in spiritual development, and is interested and available to do the things that I like to do and hang out. I have a ton of friends but most of them are more like acquaintences. Because I've been so busy with my business and the band and working my day job to pay the bills, I haven't had much time to hang out with or really get to know anyone.

It's interesting that the last few single people I've interviewed for my book are struggling with the almost the same thing - too busy with their careers to devote time to finding and developing a romantic relationship. This seems like too much of a coincidence to be just a coincidence. I'm sure the universe has something in mind for me around this. I suppose if I want to help single people find Mr. or Mrs. "right", I need to learn a similar lesson myself.

I Got My First Article Published in a Magazine!

Keep your eye out for the next issue of Be Real magazine. I wrote about the same thing I did a workshop on last month - Dealing With Difficult People (esp. family members during the holidays).

Go With The Flow and Surrender Control

I've had a couple spiritual/energetic shifts recently.  My divine guides have been telling me to go with the flow and I get images and feel a desire to float on a raft on the water. It felt great to go tubing on the ocoee river a couple weeks ago. I recognized the metaphorical lesson from that experience while I was floating down the river and it started raining and the current was swift and we had to avoid downed trees on the banks. I need to not stress when I seem to not be going in the direction I want in life. I need to simply follow my divine guidance and do a little, easy paddling towards the direction I'm being guided to go and the rest will take care of itself. I have to just go with the flow more.

Part of this lesson I realize is getting over my fear of surrender. My ego wants to protect me from harm, but when I have a connection with my higher self and the universe, my divine guidance will support me and protect me from harm. I find myself needing to remind myself that "the universe has my back". I have to surrender control.

When my life feels scary or stressful or I'm feeling stuck or antsy, I know that when I use my head vs. my heart (my ego vs. my spirit) to analyze the situation and try to figure out what I need to do, I get stressed. It does not help me at all - it just makes me feel crappy (stressed, sad, depressed, miserable....).  I am not going to get great, divine advice and guidance when I'm stressed or fearful. The ego is blocking my connection to the universe/my higher self/my intuition.

It's VERY hard when it logically seems like things aren't looking good or aren't going our way. But, we have to remember, our logic is so limited compared to what's really possible. One of the laws of the universe that I've learned and found to be true is that everything is limitless and possible. Happiness, peace, love, prosperity, abundance are all limited only by our beliefs (our logic). Based on what we "know to be true", based on what we've experienced and/or seen happen for other people, is NOT all that is possible. We have the capability to do things no one has ever done before, go places no one has ever gone before and follow a path, so unique, no one has ever gone on that path before.

We HAVE to surrender to our higher self's plan for us (which we may not be conscious of) because it only has our best interest in mind and will take us to places/levels we can't imagine with our limited beliefs/logic. Besides, that's the path we're going to follow anyway, so no sense fighting it along the way.

It's funny when I find things becoming more difficult than they should be, I have to stop myself and think, ok, obviously, I'm trying to go down a path that I'm not meant to be going down. How do I know this? Because when I just go with the flow, everything is so much easier!

I find it interesting that one of the common beliefs of our society is that success requires hard work. I don't believe that's true.

The only thing that's hard work is personal transformation/soul searching work. Once we've worked on ourselves and released the emotional/mental blocks and fear that prevent us from connecting with our higher selves, finding our life purpose, and then going with the flow, it is not hard work. It's not hard work to follow our life purpose. I'm not saying it doesn't require work (obviously you can't sit on your ass and expect things to come to you) but the work is something I find fulfilling and have a desire to do. I don't find it "hard".

I know some people struggle with taking action on their desires. This is because there is some kind of personal block you need to work through. I don't find it hard to take action towards my life purpose.

When I am taking action toward my life purpose, things FLOW! Doors open for me, people come into my life who want to help me. It's amazing! As long as I continue to live from my heart/love, things flow.

Incidentally, with the help of an intuitive coach, I discovered that my difficulty in letting go of control and surrendering to what is unfolding in my life, comes from a past life(s). I have felt a connection with the vikings and have seen images and others have seen images of me on a viking ship. I was told I was a viking ship captain and my spirit held onto the feeling of guilt and loss of control because the ship sank and I couldn't do anything about it even though I was in charge. I had a major release when I let go of this past (and current) life feeling of guilt and unhappiness for not having control.

This coincided with my guidance and images to float and go with the flow.

I surrender my need to control everything that happens in my life. I am going with the flow.

I'm not saying I don't still have the power to create/manifest the life of my dreams - my life purpose, but I can't do that if I'm living in ego (guilt, fear, control are all ego-related emotions). I have to trust that when I have a desire, I can manifest it in my life IF I follow my higher self/divine guidance and trust that whatever means to the end it guides me on, it will no doubt, produce the end result I desire - and usually a better end than I could even imagine.

Your Divine GPS

You'd think that my life would be more relaxed over the summer since I'm only teaching 2 classes (at one time), but my impatience and need to have my lofty goals accomplished "yesterday" have caused me to be way busier than I like and caused much stress once again. That's why I haven't written in over a month. But, I'm taking a group coaching class to help me develop my life coach business and attract more clients and prosperity (www.energyempowermentcoach.com). And, at Vicki's suggestion, I wrote out my "mess to success" story. I thought I'd share it here...

My Mess to Success Story

When I was a teenager and young adult, I had low self esteem and wanted to fit in but felt I didn’t. I did everything to please my parents and try to be who I thought I should be and do what I thought I should do according to family, friends and society. I went to college and when I didn’t know what I wanted to do after that, I went on to grad school so I could get a “prestigious”, high-paying job. The whole time, I sang, played and wrote songs in a band just for fun. Even though I thought that was what I really wanted to pursue, I listened to my well-intentioned parents, friends, society who said I should have a back-up plan and a good day job because it was unlikely I would “make it” as a singer/musician.

Then the universe started “telling” me I needed to follow my calling and that I wasn’t on the right path. For me, the universe tells me this by giving me stress, anxiety and eventually depression if I don’t listen.

As I read in Mona Lisa Schultz’s book, Awakening Intuition, the universe will tell you you’re on the wrong path gently at first. Then, if you don’t listen and heed its advice, it will give you a stronger message. If you still don’t listen, it will wack you upside the head with a 2x4 until you can physically/mentally no longer go down your wrong path and continue living an inauthentic life.

I was on anti-depressants for 5 years before I thought, there must be a better way. Life can’t possibly be this difficult & stressful continuously. I felt an internal conflict between what I was doing, who I thought I should be and was trying to be and who my true self wanted me to be. It took the death of my grandmas (w/in 3 mos of each other) to get in touch with my spirit with the help of a spiritual advisor (a Jesuit priest student). Then, as I worked at trying to communicate with and understand the advice of my spirit for a year, one day I saw an ad for a free meditation class in the waiting room of my allergist’s office. I signed up and the rest is history. I transferred to a different university to finish my masters degree in a program that was better suited to my interests. The more clairity I got as I followed my right path, the universe opened doors and gave me new ideas for my path I hadn’t previously considered. More opportunities opened up and I started manifesting things towards my dreams and goals. The grant funding of my 4-year job ended. The unemployment benefits and an independent consulting job that “miraculously” popped up allowed me to move to a different city and seek employment in a job that I really enjoyed. Things have been flowing since.

This is how life should be on average – easy. When you’re on the right path and are in touch with your true self, the universe rolls out the carpet for you. Even if the carpet is not yet ahead of you, if you take the step, it will roll out. If everything seems to be a struggle and it continues for a long time, you know you’re not on the right path.

The universe/your spirit is a GPS for your life. Don’t listen to others advice, because, while well-meaning, they don’t know your spirit’s calling. 

This reminds me of an ancient saying, Everyone is moving along their own paths that all lead up to the top of the mountain eventually. The ones who are not on the right path are those who are concerned with where everyone else is going and go around the mountain telling everyone else they’re on the wrong path. Another fun example…It’s like in the movie, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, where they’re driving on the wrong side of the highway and a couple driving next to them tries to yell to them “You’re going the wrong way!” and Steve Martin says, “We’re going the wrong way?! How do they know where we’re going?”. The only one who knows where you’re meant to go is the universe/your spirit. Listen to your divine GPS.

Life is so much more peaceful now that I’m following my divine guidance and am on my right path in life. I just go with the flow and trust the universe has my back. Don’t get me wrong, I have my ups and downs just like everyone. I am human, afterall. But whenever I feel stress and/or fear creeping in, I just remind myself that the universe has my back. Even though I have yet to achieve my lofty dreams, I finally feel like I “get it” and know I’m on my way to great things and I enjoy the small great things every day. The other day, my Google maps GPS told me “you have arrived”. I thought, yes, you’re right, I have arrived in more than one way. I know my authentic self and feel free/confident to be myself and follow my dreams.

Just Go With The Flow

It has been over a month since I've last posted but it feels like a lot longer. I should have known better than to think that my month off in May, in between the spring school semester and summer school, would be filled with relaxation and not being as busy as I've been the past year. I guess it's just not possible for me to take it easy. How can I when I have so many great opportunities popping into my life?!

Over Memorial Day weekend, I went to an amazing retreat with a girlfriend and met some more really cool people and got to teach my workshop on law-of-attraction related theories. Since I'm still pretty new at doing these (that was my 3rd workshop), it was great to give it to kind, supportive, like-minded people.

In the week leading up to it, I was feeling a little nervous and felt I should plan a lot and organize what I wanted to teach and any activities, but my divine guides told me I don't need to spend a lot of time planning it - that it would just flow and I would know what to do and say at the right moment. And, just like when I gave my lecture at Cosmic Connection in March, that's exactly what happened! It's like automatic writing, but with speaking. After a little gathering of some handout material and a couple exercises to have the participants do, I was told I have all of the wisdom I needed for those workshops, and when I have confidence and trust in that, it all just flows.

Imagine that. It's a good reminder of how life in general can go when you just let things flow and go with the flow. It takes a lot of trust and confidence in your(higher)self though.

The benefit of being in the moment and adjusting what you say/teach for each moment, you're not just letting it flow (all of your knowledge as well as the global/universal consciousness), you're allowing your intuition to guide you in the moment based on the thoughts/feelings/desires of the workshop/class participants. Because, the best teachers (and public speakers) are tuned more into WHO they're speaking to, than WHAT they want to teach. Because, let's face it, what we think people may want to hear can be different than what each unique, individual group/audience may want/need to hear. Sorry, I can't stop being a public speaking teacher outside of my college classroom. ;0


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The Joys of Small Manifestations

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -- Marianne Williamson  (my favorite quote of hers)

I'm always trying to manifest little things just for the fun of watching it happen and realizing my power in creating what I want in my life. We all have the power to manifest what we desire, we just have to stay tuned in to our inner genius, our higher selves (or intuition, or source, or all that is, or God, or whatever you call it). Here's an example of a small, but fun manifestation that happened to me recently. I wanted a porch swing but didn't want to pay $100 or more for one, which was the typical price I saw after doing research online. I thought about it for a week. Then, I looked on craigslist and the 2nd post was a woman in my neighborhood who was selling hers for $40. I sent her an email to see if I could come take a look. I was the first responder. I went to look at it and asked her if she would be willing to negotiate. She told me to come back later that evening after someone else was coming to look at it. 

We find ourselves faced with little decisions like these daily. I always go by what I feel. If I don't feel strongly one way or another about something, I will postpone the decision until my intuition calls/leads me.  To find out how to know if it's your intuition you're feeling or an ego-based emotion, read some of my past blog posts or come to one of my workshops. In the case of the porch swing, I could have just bought it on the spot and paid the reasonable $40 but I just didn't feel strongly that that was what I should do. Maybe this wasn't the ideal porch swing for me. So I waited to hear from the seller later that evening to know if the other person had bought it. She said the other person didn't show and she just wanted to get rid of it so she said it was mine for whatever I wanted to give her for it! 

When you pay attention to the small, quickly-attainable things you're able to manifest, it gives you inspiration and motivation to continue trying to manifest the bigger dreams. We all have the power to manifest the big stuff too, it just takes diligent focus every single day to imagine and think about exactly what it is you desire.

My life coaching/workshop website: www.coach-rox.com

Would love to hear your manifestation stories. Comment away...

Stress!

I've been experiencing a lot of stress, anxiety and fatigue this past couple months and because I'm closely connected with my spirit/higher self/inner genius (whatever you want to call it), I know it's because I didn't listen to my guidance that was telling me I should not take 6 classes this semester. I have become aware of that restless, anxiety feeling that happens when I am not following the path I'm meant to and am not listening to my inner/spiritual guidance. Teaching 6 classes, I'm too busy to devote enough time to the things that I really want to do: music and teaching/public speaking on personal/spiritual development. My spirit tried to tell me this but I didn't listen, so it's now trying to tell me by hitting me upside the head with a paddle. This is a standard way your spirit tries to talk to you (see Mona Lisa Shultz's book, Awakening Intuition).

To add to my stress, I'm being challenged with my TSU students. It's a great learning experience that will add a lot to my future career but is a stressful challenge none the less. I am now starting the process of moving out of this rut.

        - aside: the reason I haven't been able to manage my stress is I haven't been
          meditating regularly. Too busy, tired, etc... I have lots of lame excuses of why
          I haven't. It's SO crucial though!          

No negative emotion is good to experience/feel for an extended period of time. The only exception I can think of might be grief.  The kind of negative emotions such as stress and anxiety are the kind of emotions that are not good to experience/feel for an extended period of time.

I know many people say it's good to feel emotions of any kind and that we shouldn't be afraid of them or try to avoid feeling them or push them down or away. I believe this is only beneficial if you acknowledge the emotion you're feeling and try to work through it and release it. You're not meant to feel anything but love or any emotion stemming from love for extended periods of time. However, I know it's hard to work through an emotion if you're living from ego. I use energy work and spiritual exercises like meditation to release emotions. Some people get caught up in trying (ad nauseum) to analyze why they're feeling this emotion. That's not the best way for lots of people. As Deborah King says, it's not necessary to re-live certain old traumas in order to release the emotions and blocks they may be causing you.

Too many people accept feeling crappy mentally/emotionally for extended periods of time. This should not be acceptable. If you find yourself feeling very stressed or anxious (or any other negative emotion) for an extended period of time, you need to do something to change your life situation. You need to decide what you feel is too long - time is relative so only you can tap into your intuition and feel what is not good for you. For me it's longer than a month.

This is frequently the kind of thing that cause people to feel like they need a drink or smoke or other negative coping mechanism when they get home from work to reduce the stress/anxiety. I noticed this pattern in myself over the past couple months. In addition to needing a drink or smoke when I get home from school, I noticed the stress was causing me to be unusually fatigued and that led to not feeling like cooking healthy meals every night which led to me feeling even more like crap, which made me want to drink/smoke more which made me more stressed. It's a viscous cycle.

Too many people who are in a similar cycle don't recognize it or do anything about it. It can easily lead to depression. Many people go to a psychiatrist to get psychiatric drugs to get relief, thinking their must be something wrong with their minds.

Let me tell you, from experience, this does not help - it only makes things worse because the reason you were probably feeling crappy to begin with is you weren't following your intuition. You need to be honest with yourself and always be true to your unique desires/talents. You should strive for a happy or at least peaceful existence. Why would you want to settle for anything less?

As usual, I welcome your comments/experiences. :)

Law of Attraction in Action

Here's how the law of attraction works...

It's not like magic, where things appear out of nowhere because you dreamt it or put the thoughts out there. Everything is already here that we need to fulfill our dreams, we just have tunnel vision - blinders like horses toting carriages. We are thinking the solution to what we want is going to be attained from a typical means to similar ends. We compare our situation and dream/goal with others that are similar and assume there is a usual way everyone achieves this type of dream/goal. We need to be open to possibilities outside of the norm. Once we realize everything we need is already out there, we just need to see it and take advantage of it, the blinders slowly come off and we can pay attention to all that is available. There is an infinite sea of abundance. It's just not always in the ways we assume.

Here's an example:

My car has body damage from an accident I had a few years ago, and we haven't wanted to pay the large amount of money it will take to fix it. I'm tired of looking at the damaged part of the car.

I've recently decided that I am not going to listen to everyone who says you need money to become successful as a touring band or to get anything else you want for that matter. I thought I'd open my mind to other possibilities to get what I want without needing money to get it. When I put out the thought that I'd figure out a way to get my car fixed without spending more than what I could afford, the next day, I was driving down the road (the same road I drive down all the time) and noticed the auto diesel college and a thought popped into my head (the universe giving me my answer) - I should call to see if they have students do car repairs to the public for cheap. Well, I called and they said they do public repairs for body work only and you only pay for parts. That happens to be the kind of repair I need at the cost I was looking for.

I Don't Like the Term "Law of Attraction"

I've decided to put "law of attraction" in quotes from now on. It's the best word to describe this phenomenon so I shall continue to use it until a better term comes to me. But I don't like it because I feel it's a label made by people who think they discovered this profound phenomenon when it's been around for who knows how long. If you've studied psychology, you know that people pay attention to certain things based on what's on your mind and what you pay attention to is what you see, aka, your reality. Basically, we see what's on our mind. What's on our mind are beliefs we've had for so long that we don't even realize they're there but they influence (dare I say, affect) what we pay attention to on a daily basis. Therefore they influence/affect our reality. We filter what we see based on if it is in accordance with our belief system. Beliefs are just thoughts that we've thought over and over for so long they become a belief. You've probably heard the phrase, you see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear, and believe what you want to believe. This is what the law of attraction says: thoughts create reality. Doesn't seem like such a crazy, far-fetched idea now. It's just science - how our minds work- and because most of us are not at the level where we can really manipulate what we see and have what we want immediately in front of us, we don't understand it and think it's a crazy idea. Just because you can't do something doesn't mean it's not possible. Wait until more people become advanced in this field, it will no longer be just an idea from those crazy new age people.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments.

Meditation Is The Best Medicine

Happy New Year!

Phew, the last month has been a whirlwind with end-of-semester craziness and the holidays. I'm so glad to have a month vacation before the spring semester starts. I need some down time.... to finish life coach certification with Radiant Health Institute, start building my life coach business, become a rockstar and meditate among other things.. ;)

Meditation is not just imperative to spiritual health/connection but also for mental health.

It helps to develop or improve compassion and patience for ourselves. As you know if you've tried meditating, it's very difficult to clear your mind of thoughts and the only way to stick with meditation is to not be impatient or frustrated with yourself when thoughts keep popping up in your mind. Just know it's natural and ok and don't scold yourself, just let the thought(s) go and attempt to clear your mind again. Even after meditating daily for several years, I frequently have thoughts pop up. When you do a mantra-based meditation, it doesn't matter if you have thoughts popping up anyway. You still reach a meditative state. Sometimes it's easier than others for me to reach deep meditation.

When I was in Panama City Beach for Christmas, I was able to go very deep easily. I wonder if it has something to do with the energy of the ocean?

I suffered from depression and anxiety and meditation is the one of the main things that keeps my anxiety at bay now. It's like church for the soul. If I don't meditate, I find myself feeling anxiety creeping in.

Meditation can be particularly difficult in the beginning if you haven't been alone with your thoughts/emotions before. Or, if you are uncomfortable with your thoughts/emotions. If you have done everything you can to keep some kind of "noise" in your life so you don't have to pay attention to your thoughts or emotions, you need to face them and release them. Whether it be turning the TV on when you get home from work and leaving it on all night for background noise or 'white noise' to fall asleep, or doing something to relieve your uncomfortable thoughts/emotions such as eating, shopping, or taking some drug or other substance to take you away from or numb your thoughts/emotions. It's not easy to feel unpleasant emotions, but the sooner you allow yourself to, the sooner you can release them and become more connected with the bliss that is your spirit (i.e., spirit = love).

My experience and belief is that life is a balance between ego and spirit. Most people live with their ego taking the drivers seat, and aren't very well connected with their spirit. Meditating is connecting with spirit and when you lose your connection with spirit, the ego creeps in. Ego is responsible for any emotion that's not based from love (e.g., fear, anxiety, self-doubt, depression, feelings of worthlessness, or lack of motivation for doing the things you love).

Tip: if you're feeling unmotivated, ask yourself, is it because what I'm doing is not what my spirit is calling me to do (what I'm meant to do), or do I just need to get a deeper connection with my spirit, or do I have an emotion that needs to surface and be released?

Emotions must be released. Disease is what happens when they are not and are suppressed for a long enough time (&/or the strength of the emotion is strong enough). Meditation helps with this.

Meditation is not easy. It's a discipline. I'm not one who is very disciplined in things that aren't always pleasant. However, meditation is one discipline that has so many benefits that are invaluable. I can't tell you enough how worth it it is to try it and stick with it. Your life WILL be much better because of it.

P.S., meditation will help you get clarity on choices/decisions. Ask the universe (or God or spirit, whatever you call it) a question and meditation will help you get clarity - although it might not be immediate.

I'd love to hear your thoughts/comments or experiences with meditating if you've done it.