My Mess to Success Story
When I was a teenager and young adult, I had low self esteem and wanted to fit in but felt I
didn’t. I did everything to please my parents and try to be who I thought I
should be and do what I thought I should do according to family, friends and
society. I went to college and when I didn’t know what I wanted to do after that, I
went on to grad school so I could get a “prestigious”, high-paying job. The
whole time, I sang, played and wrote songs in a band just for fun. Even though
I thought that was what I really wanted to pursue, I listened to my
well-intentioned parents, friends, society who said I should have a back-up
plan and a good day job because it was unlikely I would “make it” as a
singer/musician.
Then the universe started “telling” me I needed to follow my
calling and that I wasn’t on the right path. For me, the universe tells me this
by giving me stress, anxiety and eventually depression if I don’t listen.
As I read in Mona Lisa Schultz’s book, Awakening Intuition,
the universe will tell you you’re on the wrong path gently at first. Then, if
you don’t listen and heed its advice, it will give you a stronger message. If
you still don’t listen, it will wack you upside the head with a 2x4 until you
can physically/mentally no longer go down your wrong path and continue living
an inauthentic life.
I was on anti-depressants for 5 years before I thought,
there must be a better way. Life can’t possibly be this difficult &
stressful continuously. I felt an internal conflict between what I was doing,
who I thought I should be and was trying to be and who my true self wanted me
to be. It took the death of my grandmas (w/in 3 mos of each other) to get in
touch with my spirit with the help of a spiritual advisor (a Jesuit priest
student). Then, as I worked at trying to communicate with and understand the
advice of my spirit for a year, one day I saw an ad for a free meditation class
in the waiting room of my allergist’s office. I signed up and the rest is
history. I transferred to a different university to finish my masters degree in
a program that was better suited to my interests. The more clairity I got as I
followed my right path, the universe opened doors and gave me new ideas for my
path I hadn’t previously considered. More opportunities opened up and I started
manifesting things towards my dreams and goals. The grant funding of my 4-year
job ended. The unemployment benefits and an independent consulting job that
“miraculously” popped up allowed me to move to a different city and seek
employment in a job that I really enjoyed. Things have been flowing since.
This is how life should be on average – easy. When you’re on
the right path and are in touch with your true self, the universe rolls out the
carpet for you. Even if the carpet is not yet ahead of you, if you take the
step, it will roll out. If everything seems to be a struggle and it continues
for a long time, you know you’re not on the right path.
The universe/your spirit is a GPS for your life. Don’t
listen to others advice, because, while well-meaning, they don’t know your
spirit’s calling.
This reminds me of an ancient saying, Everyone is moving
along their own paths that all lead up to the top of the mountain eventually.
The ones who are not on the right path are those who are concerned with where
everyone else is going and go around the mountain telling everyone else they’re
on the wrong path. Another fun example…It’s like in the movie, Planes, Trains
and Automobiles, where they’re driving on the wrong side of the highway and a
couple driving next to them tries to yell to them “You’re going the wrong way!”
and Steve Martin says, “We’re going the wrong way?! How do they know where
we’re going?”. The only one who knows where you’re meant to go is the
universe/your spirit. Listen to your divine GPS.
Life is so much more peaceful now that I’m following my
divine guidance and am on my right path in life. I just go with the flow and
trust the universe has my back. Don’t get me wrong, I have my ups and downs
just like everyone. I am human, afterall. But whenever I feel stress and/or
fear creeping in, I just remind myself that the universe has my back. Even
though I have yet to achieve my lofty dreams, I finally feel like I “get it”
and know I’m on my way to great things and I enjoy the small great things every
day. The other day, my Google maps GPS told me “you have arrived”. I thought,
yes, you’re right, I have arrived in more than one way. I know my authentic
self and feel free/confident to be myself and follow my dreams.
