Does Love Really Conquer All?

I recently went to a Hay House conference. It was an amazing conference that has an unfortunate name,  I Can Do It.  The name reminds me of pathetic people who are clueless and who wallow in self pity and frequent the self-help section of the bookstore and never seem to actually want to help themselves, but are more content in complaining to others about their troubles and how the world and everyone is out to get them and how they're victims of this and that. Know anyone like that?

Anyway, the people who attended this conference were the opposite of that. But, I've encountered several students like that and I always say to them, I'm here to help you and I care about you but I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. Contrary to popular belief - you are not entitled to anything. (I should clarify- you are entitled to feeling love and happiness all the time).  I find in most cases though, that it really stems from the problem that the person does not love themselves enough and/or feel they deserve the best life has to offer or deserve to be happy. It's interesting how this self-belief manifests itself. I've seen it in myself too. When I fear/worry that I won't get something done in time, I procrastinate because my ego wants to prove itself right. Because when I procrastinate, what happens? I, indeed, don't get it done in time and I validate my need for worrying. This crazy cycle illustrates how changing your thoughts, really does change your life... but I won't get into that right now. That could fill up several books (if you're interested, one good one about that is Wayne Dyer's Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life)

As of late, I have realized the power of love. I think it really can conquer anything. I have recently decided to try an experiment to test this theory. Every time I've encountered someone who annoys me or irritates me or treats me rudely or with disrespect (like a couple students I have this semester), I forgive myself for initially thinking bad thoughts about them and send as much love to them as I can. And you know what happens? It really is amazing! They change! I swear, they really change! I'll give you an example. I did this to a couple students in one class, and the next class, it was like they were different people! I was wondering where the old, negative, disrespectful, rude people were who for over a month acted like that. They were different after I sent love to them! I'm sure part of it was my perception of them changed too after I was focused on sending love instead of bad, negative thoughts, but a big part of it really was that they actually changed. Another student actually noticed it and commented to me about it after class.

So, so far, my experiment has proven to be true. Love might just be the answer to everything. I can honestly say that I do not have anyone in my life who I dislike or who annoys me right now. Not that I don't think I will encounter someone who makes me feel like this occasionally in the future, but when I do I will immediately send them love, they will no longer annoy me and I will no longer dislike them.

If you think this sounds hokey or too simplistic or too good to be true, why don't you do your own experiment. After all, you can't disprove something without testing it.

I noticed how much sending love to myself has changed me over the past year or so also. After attending Debbie Ford's workshop at the I Can Do It conference, I have learned to love ALL parts of myself, even the ones I didn't like because I thought they were not honorable or good, such as being blunt sometimes, or acting like a know-it-all, or being emotional, or being silly/goofy, or being boring, etc.... I learned that we all have many facets to ourselves/our personalities that really serve us well when we use them sometimes in certain circumstances when it's called for it. Debbie led us through a guided visualization that was life changing as it helped me really, truly love all parts of myself and feel comfortable being my authentic self. I no longer worry that I might not fit in with what's "proper/normal/acceptable" for whatever circle or position I'm in.

I've read about the importance of feeling this way about your self, but there's a difference between knowing, intellectually what I should/need to do and actually being able to do it spiritually and emotionally. Everyone has unresolved issues and negative emotions that we've stored from our entire lifetime that gets repressed into our subconscious (I'd like to talk to anyone who thinks they don't...I'm serious, email me:). With these things, I think it's impossible to reason them out of you. When Debbie had us do the guided visualization exercise, I felt emotions coming out of me that were so strong and I hadn't felt like that in a long time. After that, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt more free, happier, and more loving toward myself than I'd ever felt.

I think people who try practicing the law of attraction get scared when they encounter a block that requires them to face and work through difficult, troublesome things, including things they don't like about themselves. This is challenging because the ego kicks in and gets defensive when you realize something (some behavior, belief, etc..) you don't like about yourself. But, this is not a reason to stop and give up because, in order to grow, we will undoubtedly face things that will be very difficult and unpleasant, but the reward is very worth it.

You are not growing if you're stagnant, regardless if you tell yourself that you're "content". We don't learn when everything goes our way all the time.

One last thing: in order for the whole experiment about sending love to everyone who annoys you to work, you need to be able to love yourself completely first. If you don't have love and compassion for yourself, how can you expect to give it to others? You can't give what you don't have. I'm sorry if this throws a monkey wrench in this whole thing for you. I know it means a lot of self work before you can reap the ultimate love benefits, but I promise you, it's worth it. I've been soul searching and practicing self-love and compassion for a while now, but Debbie's workshop was like the final straw for me to become truly full of it.;) Ha! I can just see my husband and family loving the opportunity to jump in and say, "she's full of it alright". Lol!

Why we need to concern ourselves with helping others

I'm glad I decided to keep this journal to see my thoughts as I grow in my spirituality and learn about how the universe works. I saw a previous post where I was trying to understand how the law of attraction worked and if it was necessary to have as part of your desire wanting to help others. Now, after immersing my self in studying and practicing this for a little while, I realize the answer to that and why. So, here it is as I understand it now...

The reason you need to worry about helping and sending love to others in addition to focusing on your own desires is because we're all connected and when you help and send love to someone else, you help and send love to yourself which helps you manifest your own desires.

That's it.

Thanks.
okay bye. ;)

It really is that simple. I'm finding that the more I seek answers to how the universe works, the answers I find are more simple than I realized.

We've all heard (and maybe even experienced ourselves if we cared enough to help ourselves become better, happier, more prosperous, etc...) that when you're feeling down, sad, depressed... you should help someone else because you will feel better yourself. It's not a new concept, this idea that what you give you get back and then some. However, I, being the kind of person who likes to know why and likes to analyze things, had to know how and why that happens. I'm happy to say that I've finally found an answer that makes the most sense to me.

This is particularly pertinent in the current state of the globe because now, more than ever, we need to stop fighting and killing one another and collaborate to figure out how to work together to help our collective selves. The earth (and humanity, and our economy, and our political system for that matter) can't sustain what we're doing to it and the way we're doing it. The ego has taken control in the (human) powers that be in these systems and that has led to corruption. You know what comes after something corrupts?  It crumbles.

I have so much to talk about. This is what happens when I wait to write only once a month. I'll have to start writing more frequently. So, you'll start to see much more of me whether you like it or not! Muwahahaha. (well, if you don't like it I suppose you can just not take the time to read my blog, but I hope you will.)