7/12/10
My life's paradigm shift
I have recently experienced something that can only be described as a paradigm shift of my life's beliefs and perspectives. I've had a couple of these in the past year as I'm moving toward spiritual "enlightenment".
What seemed at the time to be a devastating break in my relationship with my mom, has turned out to be a positive shift in my beliefs and life perspective. After I had time to ponder it and talk it out with friends, and realized what was really happening, it felt like a giant weight had lifted off my shoulders. It felt like a door to my future had just opened.
First, I want to say that last month, I met with a psychic at the Galactic fair who told me that I was like a butterfly who was about to exit the coccoon and spread my wings and fly away and achieve my dreams, but first I had to let go of past beliefs that will not serve me on my future path and were limiting me from achieving what I want as well as using the law of attraction. I knew much of this already (from my intuition and spirit guides) but it was nice to have it validated by someone else.
So, I asked my mom for advice on how to talk to my new boss because I was experiencing challenges with my new job. Our conversation somehow turned to her judging many of my past decisions (on many things, not work-related) and making me feel bad about bad decisions I have made in the past. I felt very upset, especially because I had called her to get support when I was feeling stressed and I ended up getting the opposite. I know she did not intentionally make me upset and was just acting as a protective mother and not the supportive friend I was expecting.
Usually, in the past, I would feel crappy about myself and my abilities and my self-esteem would go down after having a similar conversation with my mom. I did feel like this for a brief period after this conversation, but for some reason, this time, I started to think differently. It really helped talking to a friend who experienced the same thing and helped me realize that my mom's beliefs, many of which used to be my beliefs, were very different from mine now and were not useful to me on my current/future path. Most importantly, I realized for the first time I did not need her approval to know that what I am doing and the decisions I am making to fulfill my dreams and desires are right. This is a big boost to my self confidence. Knowing that she didn't approve of or agree with my decisions, was always a conflict that was weighing on me and is now lifted. I feel more free than ever! Although at the time, I felt devastated when I realized I just wasn't going to get the approval I hoped for and that I wouldn't be able to rely on her supporting my new path to rockstardom and my journey toward spiritual fulfillment.
It isn't an easy thing to accept that many of your core/fundamental beliefs are no longer useful and that the person you have always leaned on for support is not able to give you that support. It was also hard to realize that I am growing farther apart from my mom in these fundamental beliefs and perspectives on life. It was ironic to me when I realized how much I felt I needed her approval at my age. It was like a comfortable safety net but I now feel strong and confident enough to not need anyone else's approval but my own (well, realistically, probably my husband's ;). This realization alone, makes me feel more free and confident than ever. I feel fully able to take the next steps toward fulfilling my desires. I don't need my mom's support when I have the universe to support me!
I find it funny that in theory, I believed what Wayne Dyer says - that you can't look for approval (or something like that, I can't remember the exact word) in anyone else but yourself. These are wise words, and are often easier said than done. Many people, and I would argue probably everyone, have certain beliefs and feelings they are not conscious of but yet control their actions. Just like in my instance above, I wasn't aware how much I needed my mother's approval and how much it was holding me back from moving forward on my path. How was I able to finally realize it? I intuitively sensed (and confirmed from others) that I was approaching a new phase in my life, one that would lead me to my dream of rockstardom, but that I needed to let go of some past beliefs that would not be useful to me in this new phase, and would hold me back from fully stepping into this phase. I didn't know what these beliefs were, but I just prayed and asked God and my spirit guides and the universe (all other beings out there) to help me see what these beliefs are and release them.
* Btw, this is why having a strong faith/belief in your intuition and spiritual guidance is imperative to moving forward with your path to your dreams. * You may not understand what you sense, but you have to believe it's true and right for you. From the time I first sensed this (what I described above), it was 2 months of asking/praying to see and release these beliefs that were holding me back. I said to the universe (God, spirits, etc...) and felt in my heart that I was ready to face and accept whatever was going to come at me because I intuitively knew it was the only way I was going to move forward toward becoming a rockstar, and I want it so badly, I'm willing to face anything.
The universe sure gave it it me! This incident with my mom happened the same week that I got in a car accident and my cell phone died. I almost got into a big funk for a bit there, wollowing in my sorrows and pity that my life felt like it was collapsing around me. A couple years ago, I would have probably gotten into a depression after that, but now, because I'm so close with my spirit and the universe, they (God, spirit guides, etc..) didn't let me and I listened to their guidance to get me through. One example is when I was in my jazz vocal class last week and I forgot all about the relatively minor things that were happening to me compared to my destiny. I felt very lucky that nothing major happened to me in the accident, specifically to my voice, and that if I still had my voice, that's all I needed. I was reminded that singing heals my spirit and it was what I was meant to do. I was just happy I was still able to do it, and better yet, I was doing it! I felt a strong reassurance that I was on the right path and it felt great! It made the minor shit that life sometimes throws at you not mean so much. I knew then that I would just focus on chugging along with my dreams.
Watch out world, I'm like a freight train! I'm going to keep on the rockstar train no matter what gets thrown at me.
I'm still waiting to see what good will come of the car accident. ;) I'll let you know in my next blog.
What seemed at the time to be a devastating break in my relationship with my mom, has turned out to be a positive shift in my beliefs and life perspective. After I had time to ponder it and talk it out with friends, and realized what was really happening, it felt like a giant weight had lifted off my shoulders. It felt like a door to my future had just opened.
First, I want to say that last month, I met with a psychic at the Galactic fair who told me that I was like a butterfly who was about to exit the coccoon and spread my wings and fly away and achieve my dreams, but first I had to let go of past beliefs that will not serve me on my future path and were limiting me from achieving what I want as well as using the law of attraction. I knew much of this already (from my intuition and spirit guides) but it was nice to have it validated by someone else.
So, I asked my mom for advice on how to talk to my new boss because I was experiencing challenges with my new job. Our conversation somehow turned to her judging many of my past decisions (on many things, not work-related) and making me feel bad about bad decisions I have made in the past. I felt very upset, especially because I had called her to get support when I was feeling stressed and I ended up getting the opposite. I know she did not intentionally make me upset and was just acting as a protective mother and not the supportive friend I was expecting.
Usually, in the past, I would feel crappy about myself and my abilities and my self-esteem would go down after having a similar conversation with my mom. I did feel like this for a brief period after this conversation, but for some reason, this time, I started to think differently. It really helped talking to a friend who experienced the same thing and helped me realize that my mom's beliefs, many of which used to be my beliefs, were very different from mine now and were not useful to me on my current/future path. Most importantly, I realized for the first time I did not need her approval to know that what I am doing and the decisions I am making to fulfill my dreams and desires are right. This is a big boost to my self confidence. Knowing that she didn't approve of or agree with my decisions, was always a conflict that was weighing on me and is now lifted. I feel more free than ever! Although at the time, I felt devastated when I realized I just wasn't going to get the approval I hoped for and that I wouldn't be able to rely on her supporting my new path to rockstardom and my journey toward spiritual fulfillment.
It isn't an easy thing to accept that many of your core/fundamental beliefs are no longer useful and that the person you have always leaned on for support is not able to give you that support. It was also hard to realize that I am growing farther apart from my mom in these fundamental beliefs and perspectives on life. It was ironic to me when I realized how much I felt I needed her approval at my age. It was like a comfortable safety net but I now feel strong and confident enough to not need anyone else's approval but my own (well, realistically, probably my husband's ;). This realization alone, makes me feel more free and confident than ever. I feel fully able to take the next steps toward fulfilling my desires. I don't need my mom's support when I have the universe to support me!
I find it funny that in theory, I believed what Wayne Dyer says - that you can't look for approval (or something like that, I can't remember the exact word) in anyone else but yourself. These are wise words, and are often easier said than done. Many people, and I would argue probably everyone, have certain beliefs and feelings they are not conscious of but yet control their actions. Just like in my instance above, I wasn't aware how much I needed my mother's approval and how much it was holding me back from moving forward on my path. How was I able to finally realize it? I intuitively sensed (and confirmed from others) that I was approaching a new phase in my life, one that would lead me to my dream of rockstardom, but that I needed to let go of some past beliefs that would not be useful to me in this new phase, and would hold me back from fully stepping into this phase. I didn't know what these beliefs were, but I just prayed and asked God and my spirit guides and the universe (all other beings out there) to help me see what these beliefs are and release them.
* Btw, this is why having a strong faith/belief in your intuition and spiritual guidance is imperative to moving forward with your path to your dreams. * You may not understand what you sense, but you have to believe it's true and right for you. From the time I first sensed this (what I described above), it was 2 months of asking/praying to see and release these beliefs that were holding me back. I said to the universe (God, spirits, etc...) and felt in my heart that I was ready to face and accept whatever was going to come at me because I intuitively knew it was the only way I was going to move forward toward becoming a rockstar, and I want it so badly, I'm willing to face anything.
The universe sure gave it it me! This incident with my mom happened the same week that I got in a car accident and my cell phone died. I almost got into a big funk for a bit there, wollowing in my sorrows and pity that my life felt like it was collapsing around me. A couple years ago, I would have probably gotten into a depression after that, but now, because I'm so close with my spirit and the universe, they (God, spirit guides, etc..) didn't let me and I listened to their guidance to get me through. One example is when I was in my jazz vocal class last week and I forgot all about the relatively minor things that were happening to me compared to my destiny. I felt very lucky that nothing major happened to me in the accident, specifically to my voice, and that if I still had my voice, that's all I needed. I was reminded that singing heals my spirit and it was what I was meant to do. I was just happy I was still able to do it, and better yet, I was doing it! I felt a strong reassurance that I was on the right path and it felt great! It made the minor shit that life sometimes throws at you not mean so much. I knew then that I would just focus on chugging along with my dreams.
Watch out world, I'm like a freight train! I'm going to keep on the rockstar train no matter what gets thrown at me.
I'm still waiting to see what good will come of the car accident. ;) I'll let you know in my next blog.
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