This week the universe hit me over the head with a 2x4. Every once in a long while, when I don't listen to what the universe is trying to tell me through my intuition it lets me know. In fact, I've recently heard that the universe will tell you what you need to change in your life to follow the path you desire in increasing degrees of severity.
I recently heard a lecture from a woman, Ester Nicholson (an amazing inspirational speaker & singer who has a book out - www.esternicholson.com), who is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and she described the different messages (and messengers) the universe sent her - ultimately ending in a near death experience. Many people aren't in tune with their spirit and are so enveloped in the power of their ego (the ego is very powerful), that they need to basically hit rock bottom before they recognize what the universe and their spirit is trying to tell them. I used to be like that but luckily, as I've become more attuned to my spirit (reiki has been the biggest help), I have learned to realize that stress, anxiety and depression are not normal and that is the way the universe and my spirit communicate with me. That is how my emotional issues manifest themselves. Emotional issues can manifest themselves in any way - including physical pain.
So, I'm was practically having an anxiety attack earlier in the week and my first reaction is still to think that it's caused by something external. I should know better by now after studying people like Wayne Dyer whose video clip I just showed my students. It's about my favorite phrase - When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. The video clip tells how nothing you feel is because of anything outside yourself - it's all internal emotions.
Even though I know better, I'm still a human that was raised under certain society "norms" that are contrary to the law of attraction and how the universe really works. So it still takes me a few days to realize that for me, stress and anxiety are the universe's way of trying to tell me something. When I did realize this, I went to a quiet place in my house where I could be alone (my bedroom) and meditate and ask the universe what is it?!
I'm so thankful that I'm at a point in my spiritual and psychic development that I can clearly hear the answers. Here are all the amazing things it had to tell me...
My anxiety is not because of anything going on externally from me but because of my fear of confidently expressing my thoughts & ideas about the law of attraction, especially in my lyrics & singing. I have an underlying fear that people won't believe me or won't like me because they don't agree with what I'm saying. I see that in order for me to enjoy being a professional motivational speaker, & to be successful at it, I need to get over this fear and the universe is bringing it to my attention.
At the same time, I'm experiencing anxiety because I'm a sensitive person and am sensing and absorbing my students' stress at being afraid of public speaking & of failing. Isn't that ironic that in figuring out how to help them, I'm learning how to help myself for the exact same thing. They tell me the main reason they're afraid of public speaking is they're afraid of what people will think of them. I also don't like the thought that not all of my students will like me. All of this teaches me 2 things: 1, that I need to learn to block others negative energy and not absorb others stress, fear or other negative emotion and 2, know that not everyone will like what I have to say or agree with me and learn to be ok with that. I need to speak my mind with confidence & conviction.
Finally, I also realized I have fear that I can't handle this big workload. I realize now that when I'm a successful public speaker & singer, I'm going to be even busier than this. So, in order for me to enjoy being a professional motivational speaker, & to be successful at it, I need to be able handle a busy schedule and getting through this semester will give me the confidence to know that I can.
I was thinking, why are all these fears surfacing all at once? It's a little much for a person to handle at once, isn't it? Then I remembered several psychic friend's telling me they see my dream taking off soon, so I guess I need to be prepared soon. A year ago I sensed it was a big undertaking I was dreaming of & venturing into and this is what happens when you tell the universe "I'm ready, I can handle it, bring it on". Be careful what you wish for. The way the universe works is it is impartial - it brings you exactly what you think about - good or bad.
Luckily, this is all good and I'm very thankful that I've been shown these fears that I need to get over and the lessons that I need to learn. It's all going to take me closer to realizing my dream and as it gets closer, I'm getting more and more excited and more in love with my life, myself, those around me and the universe! Woo hooo!!!!!!!
