A side thought: I wonder how much age has to do with the amount I give a shit about others expectations of me? Reminds me of Wanda Sykes bit about getting older and not giving a f*ck. Do yourself a favor and take a listen if you haven't heard this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qXzfVny8Zo
Don't get me wrong, I love getting a great goodwill or thrift store find just like the next person, but I also love shopping designer labels at Nordstrom Rack. I love that store because you can get great designer or designer-looking, quality, trendy clothes at a great price. Anyone who has champagne tastes with a ginger ale budget like me probably shares my gratitude for stores like NR.
I have always loved clothes. I always feel confident and fabulous in a new top or outfit. I love when people compliment my clothes too. And there's nothing like shopping to help relieve a little stress or overcome a bad week. Retail therapy is for real!
My new shirt makes me happy
I don't think there's anything wrong with buying something that makes you feel good when you're feeling crappy. It's when you go overboard and it becomes your self-medication and you need to shop to feel good. Or, I know people who feel anxiety or inadequate somehow and always think that if they just had a better this or that, that they'd feel content but contentment never comes. They just always want something better.
Homeowners know what I'm talking about too. You always find something to improve on in your house. We just bought a house last year so this annoying feeling of always wanting better is starting to drive me crazy. We never really cared about what needed improving in the house we were renting because we had no control over home improvements so we just gave up. I can get carried away easily in my quest for perfection in my house. There was something nice about just being content (usually lol) with what we had in our old house.
That same thing applies to people always wanting stuff. The new this or that is always on their minds, thinking about when they can acquire it. I love FB marketplace because you can "shop" all the time thinking about what you might need or want and not feel too bad about buying shit because it's used and a cheap price. But, it can easily perpetuate the obsession with feeling you need stuff to feel good.
I've found myself getting into that rut lately. I don't realize how stressed I've become until I realize how much I've bought the last month or two. For me, shopping is an immediate "feel good", especially if I've scored something for a great bargain. So, that feel good feeling blocks out the anxiety I feel about my life at the moment. It's not to the extent that I consider myself a shopaholic. I know many people who do this same behavior who aren't shopaholics but like the occasional pick-me-up that buying something new (or new to you) gives you.
My motto is everything is ok in moderation. As long as you are self-aware to realize when you need to focus on some self-care to reach a better balance in your life, it's all good sister!
Contradiction of Lifestyles-Values ??
Many people in the spiritual or new age camp as well as any kind of hippy will say that minimalism is the way to go and if you have a lot of stuff or like to buy stuff (especially, god forbid NEW stuff and not used or recycled stuff), you're not a true spiritual person or hippy. Well, I see nothing wrong with wearing many caps and don't feel I perfectly fit into any one category of lifestyle. I love my girlfriends clothing swaps and thrift-storing and garage-sailing as much as I love shopping at my favorite retail clothes store. I also have gone long periods where I haven't bought anything but necessities and focused on other more important things in life. But then I missed the great feeling of finding that perfect new outfit or accessory. I fit into my own unique lifestyle and it's working just fine for me. I just make sure I have balance in life. When I have that, I am able to love myself and my life and embrace my uniqueness. Screw labels and the judgments that come along with them. If wearing a brand new shirt you love that you just bought makes you feel fabulous, I say YOU GO GIRL! There are enough places, people, rules, norms that try to make people feel like they're not good enough or inadequate or are doing it wrong.
Life is too short to not enjoy the simple things. Even if for me, that simple thing just might be a new shirt!
Poll for all of you shopping lovers out there: What is your favorite thing to buy? Where is your favorite store to shop? comment below
